BY STEPHANIE VOZZA
Confidence is a trait you can get better at with practice.
We’ve all met someone who exudes confidence. They walk into a room as if they own it. They share their ideas without worrying about rejection. And they are happy to meet new people they can add to their personal network. Ever wonder how they got that way?
Some people are naturally confident, however, it’s a trait you can acquire and improve if you practice these five habits of confident people.
1. THEY’RE ALWAYS GROWING
Learning new things expands your mindset, and confident people are curious and love to explore, says Angeli Gianchandani, professor of marketing at the University of New Haven and founder of Mobility Girl, a platform designed to empower young women and men through mentorship in coaching for economic growth.
Growth is a continual investment in building confidence, adds Usheroff. “[Confident people] don’t depend on just natural talent but from learning new skills through perseverance and practice,” she says. “They don’t hesitate to make a course correction upon new knowledge or circumstances. They see failure as lessons learned, accept the consequences, and share their experiences.”
2. THEY DEMONSTRATE COURAGE
Confident people aren’t afraid to ask for advice. “They are comfortable admitting when they don’t know something as they don’t see it as a weakness,” says Usheroff.
Instead, confident people are willing to be vulnerable.
3. THEY TAME THEIR INNER CRITIC
While sometimes an inner critic can push you to strive harder, sometimes it prevents you from taking a risk, says Michele Patterson Ford, Ph.D., a psychologist and senior lecturer in psychology at Dickinson College. Confident people know when those inner thoughts are helpful or harmful.
“[It’s about] being mindful of the negative thoughts in [your] mind and treat them as just that, thoughts—not truths—that can help [you] to take these cognitions less seriously,” she says.
Having compassion for yourself and your struggles also helps build confidence. “Recent research has shown self-compassion was associated with self-worth,” says Patterson Ford. “Knowing your value is an important component of feeling confident in oneself. Self-compassion, however, may actually provide the benefits of high self-esteem without the potential problems associated with high self-esteem, like being egotistical. The compassionate side tames the potential to be self-absorbed.”
4. THEY’RE COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE
Discomfort is a sign of progress, and confident people embrace it. “Those who invite discomfort are able to achieve more, take more significant risks and break through barriers, and are open to facing new challenges,” says Gianchandani. “Discomfort is a form of self-growth, pushing yourself mentally to overcome fear.”
“This type of thinking is equivalent to getting under that tabletop and shaking a leg or two,” he says. “It will destabilize your beliefs, introduce doubt into your thinking, and shake your foundation. Any time you start to think ‘what-if,” change your thinking to ‘I will.’”
5. THEY’RE WILLING TO SPEAK UP
Simply put, confident people are willing to open their mouth and say something, says Alpert. “Anyone who has made a mark in this world has spoken up, presented their ideas, and taken a chance,” he says. “Dare to say what you believe in. You might be pleasantly surprised by who listens to you and is impressed by your confidence in sharing your ideas.”