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Freud once wrote, “The ego is not master in its own house.” He argued that the ego, which controls your thoughts and behaviors, is influenced by the id (your most basic impulses) and the superego, which consists of the rules and norms of society. Having a balanced ego is key to personal well-being. Similarly, having and leading with a balanced ego is key to professional and team success.
Leaders with inflated egos can cause irreparable harm to workers and companies. Less willing to entertain contradictory ideas, they stifle innovation and make poorer-quality decisions. Because their egos crave positive attention, they’re susceptible to manipulation. What’s worse, the traits of egocentric leaders often trickle down through an organization, potentially undermining its very fabric. That’s why it’s key for leaders to practice leaving their egos at the door.
Here are five strategies for releasing your sense of self-importance and leading with less ego.
Train your active listening ability like it’s a muscle
If you’ve ever been to a therapist, then you’re familiar with active listening. A good therapist listens attentively, interprets when appropriate, and endeavors to understand what you’re saying. They don’t just hear you, but they make you feel heard. In doing so, they allow their own ego to fall away.
Like strength training at the gym, you can train your active listening ability as if it were a muscle. The core components of active listening are comprehending, retaining, and responding. By working on these skills, you can become a better active listener.
You should also get in the habit of clarifying misunderstandings in the moment, for example due to slang or technical explanations. Ask questions and seek further explanations. If necessary, request that someone break down a concept into terms a child would understand. Tune out any distractions and try to be aware of your own biases. And finally, communicate that you’ve understood what someone has said.
Active listening takes effort, but like weightlifting, it gets easier with repetition. Continue reading