by Gayle Hilgendorff
Take a moment and think about the week ahead of you. From your Saturday morning through until next Friday night. You can take out your calendar if that helps you create a more vivid picture of your activities – whatever helps you fully surround yourself with a sense of all the commitments you have made to your family, your job and yourself. All the things you have to do. Good. Now hold onto that feeling of overwhelm, stress, anxiety and exhaustion for a few moments.
One of the exercises I enjoy most with my clients is spinning a situation around and looking at it from a different angle. Forget about reality, what you think is happening or what you perceive will be someone’s reaction. Forget about all the stress and anxiety that is usually related to our days, and view the situation from a constructive, positive and enjoyable angle. Sometimes it feels like a bit of a trip down fantasy lane, but spending a few minutes thinking in happy land isn’t a bad trip for anyone.
Let’s try this exercise together. Call back into your mind your schedule for the next week and marinate in it for a moment. Good. Feeling a bit anxious? Overscheduled maybe? How about unprepared, hurried, stressed? Feel free to shout out any other words that may come to your mind. Do you know what has happened? You have a schedule full of things you feel you have to do – not necessarily items that you have chosen to do.
Let’s not forget that one of our rights as human beings is the right to choose. Good ole Merriam-Webster defines choice as “The opportunity or power to choose between two or more possibilities; the power to make a decision.” The power of choice is one of the greatest powers we posses – as it defines what, who, how and why we live the life that we do. We give this power away much too often, and for very trivial reasons. It’s time to take some of that power back.
So, sit up straight, puff your chest out, put your hands on your hips, and take a deep breath in. As you exhale, tell yourself, “I am the king/queen of my schedule. I am in charge. I will choose what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it. I posses the power of choice!” Now, look at your upcoming week from a different angle.
How much of your schedule is your choice? How many things are you excited and energized about? Have you lined up a week of your valuable life in such a way that will make you feel vibrant when it ends, not exhausted. Yes, there will be things that pop up at the last minute, fire drills needing attending, sick children, etc. But, how do you feel about the week ahead? Powerful and in charge or heavy, anxious, stressed and insignificant?
We are not obligated to do anything other than what we choose in life. I don’t accept any argument to the contrary on this. Yes, you have soccer practice and dance recitals to attend – but you chose to have children and allow them to be exposed to a variety of experiences, so no, you are not obligated to take them to their lessons, you choose to do so.
At work it’s more difficult to separate obligation from choice. But it’s just that – more difficult – not impossible. You may choose to further your career, go for a promotion, or make more money, thus obligating you to perhaps taking on more projects, travelling more or working longer hours.
We can also choose to NOT do things that do not contribute to your furthering your life choices. For example, you do not have to be on every conference call, attend every meeting, respond to every email, make every decision – there are some calls, meetings, emails and decisions that you are obligated to deal with because of the job you have chosen, but not all of them.
Can you tell the difference? Can you identify those commitments that you have chosen vs. those that you feel you just must do? Good. Now, those items that you have not purposefully chosen – let them go.
You have the power of choice. When used, it can be the most powerful weapon in your healthy life balance arsenal.
If you do nothing else…
Find one thing on your calendar for next week that is truly an obligation – and choose to not do it.
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Gayle Hilgendorff is a certified health and leadership coach who left as a Partner in a global consulting company to found her own business focused on helping other corporate executives achieve their best, professionally and personally, through better health.
For more healthy thoughts you can visit her site at The Healthy Leader and follow her on twitter @newhealthgayle