by Gayle Hilgendorff
Have you ever noticed how, when you are on the precipice of doing something new, different or risky in your life, people respond by shrugging their shoulders and claiming, “Yeah sure, why not? What do you have to lose?”
Many times while coaching clients to do something new or different in their daily routine I notice myself asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
How about the times that you feel the need to ask someone for permission to do something that you don’t think is possible? You ask your friend if they think it’s OK to go ahead and ask for what you want and that friend inevitably says to you, “The worst that could happen is that they could say no, and then you are no better off than you are today, right?”
Thinking about your worst-case scenario is a very healthy exercise to help propel yourself forward into unchartered waters, because for the most part, the worst that could happen is that you are no better off than you are now, and at least you tried.
One of my favorite things to do with clients is to present a situation from another angle. Sometimes looking at life, a situation or a perceived problem through a completely different lens creates the laughable Ahh Haa moment, which is the catalyst to long-term change. You know the moment I’m talking about. When you think you can’t do something, you ask yourself “Why not?” When you believe that you have to be somewhere and then ask yourself “Will anyone really miss me if I’m not?” When you covet someone else’s success, lifestyle or body and then remind yourself that with a few changes, you could have all of those things too. Questions and observations that are so innocent, simple and straightforward that you laugh at yourself, because you know the answer immediately. Instead of wallowing in the stress, anger or sadness, and assuming that the worst has happened, you realize that in fact, maybe things aren’t as bad as you believe them to be.
To that end, I’d like to introduce a new spin on the old standby adage, “What do you have to lose?” From now on, I’d like you to ask yourself, “What do I have to gain?”
What do I have to gain from taking this risk? What is the BEST thing that could possibly happen? What do I have to gain by saying no?
I’d like you go back to the beginning of this blog now and reread the first three paragraphs. Notice as you read how you feel, physically and mentally. Perhaps your shoulders fall a little bit or you notice your lips purse in that ‘umm humm’ position and you nod your head in neutral agreement. Mentally, do you notice how you feel? Scared? A bit dejected? Maybe you feel as if taking the risk or doing something different really isn’t worth the worst case scenario, or hearing someone say no, because why expend valuable energy if you are only going to land in the same place you already are?
Now, re-read this paragraph:
What do I have to gain from taking this risk? What is the BEST thing that could possibly happen? What do I have to gain by saying no?
Notice again how you feel. Maybe you perk up a little bit. Sit up straight. Smile. Feel empowered. Happy. Hopeful. Maybe more energized to take action? The idea of getting something good immediately gives us energy and elevates our mood; it’s a universal truth.
These questions have the same goal as the questions in the first three paragraphs; I’ve just presented them through a different lens. Admittedly I am an optimist at heart, but isn’t optimism a better way to motivate?
So, what’s on your list of things that you want to do? Lose weight? Exercise more? Work less? Spend more time with your family? Stop attending a regular meeting/call? Run a marathon? Hike a mountain? Ask for a promotion? Ask for a different role?
The next time you find yourself daydreaming about the life/job/body you wish you had, find one action that you could take (regardless of how crazy you think it could be) and ask yourself, “If I were to do THAT, what would I have to GAIN?”
If the answer makes you smile, it’s about time you did it.
If you do nothing else…
Find one thing in your life that you’d like to change for the better (the easier the task, the better, because a quick easy win will keep you wanting more). Identify how you could change it (i.e.: get up earlier to exercise, buy healthier food at the store, tell my boss I need a few days off, delegate a project that you really don’t want to do). Now, ask yourself, “What do I have to gain by doing taking this action?
I’ll tell you what you will gain – health, time and happiness. Not bad for a worst-case scenario, eh?
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Gayle Hilgendorff is a certified health and leadership coach who left as a Partner in a global consulting company to found her own business focused on helping other corporate executives achieve their best, professionally and personally, through better health.
While at Accenture, Gayle was responsible for executive career coaching and leadership development programs for a global organization of 30,000 people. After a turning point in her own career, she realized that true leadership and professional success were founded on being a healthy person – mentally, physically and emotionally – not just working harder.
Gayle’s health passion became a platform for her work with corporate executives. She created and runs a health and leadership-coaching program for a Global Fortune 500 company. Working with their ‘leaders of the future’ across the globe, she incorporates holistic health concepts into her executive coaching work. In addition to other leadership development work, Gayle integrated basic concepts about how eating better, moving more, and finding ways to manage stress was the basic foundation for developing their leadership qualities and realizing their professional goals. Additionally, many executives benefited from weight loss, resolution of health issues, better sleep, less stress, and ultimately more enhanced personal lives.
Realizing that she could make a much bigger impact to the broader executive world, Gayle left Accenture to found her own leadership and health coaching business. Her experience with executive career coaching, her health coaching certification, and her own busy life, corporate career, growing business, and great health make her an expert who is seen as believable, understandable and credible. Gayle now works with organizations and individuals around the world to build their leadership capability, professionally and personally, through bettering their own overall health.